After the Coast

I spent last week in a rented beach house with four other writers. We ate, wrote, wrote, went for walks, wrote, ate, wrote, and slept.

It was marvelous. I wrote 40,000 words in 5 days. That’s around 160 pages.

I feel so blessed to be working all out on fiction with other dedicated writers, not just the four I was with on the Coast, but others I connect with regularly, in person and through online forums.

It makes me wonder what the rest of you are doing to get support around your dreams and desires? Do you have a cohort of equally dedicated folks, whether in person or online?

Support and camaraderie are important, whether for spiritual growth, justice work, making art, or raising families.

It’s easy for busy-ness to get in the way of connection.

Taking last week out on the coast was a great way for me to connect, and I want to do it again.

But next time? I’ll be more careful. Some of you know that after years of struggling with being tired and getting sick a lot, I finally got a hypothyroid diagnosis. You can read about it here.

Well, after a few months of dietary changes and medication, I’m overall doing much better. However, I still need to be mindful. Careful, even.

The night before my week on the coast began, there was a big U2 concert in Seattle. I hadn’t seen them since the early 1980s, plus, a writer friend and one of my partners are both huge fans and wanted to go. So, despite some trepidation on my part, we trekked up to Seattle for the concert, crashed in a hotel after, drove home to Portland. Then writer friend and I packed up a second car and made the drive down to the Coast.

In other words, I started the writing week sleep deprived. It really threw me off. Despite my high word count –and I had planned on 50k– I lost some time, needing to rest or go take naps. I lost one morning entirely. And of course, though I did my best, I did not get enough sleep each night we were away.

This week, I’m paying for it with what feels like a relapse. My brain is foggy, and I’m very tired. I’m barely squeaking out any words, but I am still writing (4750 words so far this week. We’ll see how many words the rest of the week brings). The last few days, I felt well enough for some long walks. Today? I’m playing that by ear.

I’ve also just ordered more tests from my doctor, and am doing all the other things: walking, eating well, resting.

Why am I bringing this up? Because for too long, I struggled with my health in silence, only mentioning it on rare occasions, because I was doing all I could to stay healthy and even then, it was never enough.

So I want all of you out there who are struggling to create under difficult, sometimes even crushing conditions – many of which are far worse than mine – to know that I’m cheering you on.

We don’t have to give up. We just have to do what we can.

Doing our best to feed and support our desires is a worthy task. We can do that a little at a time, or in a great rush, depending on how much energy we have on any given day.

And sometimes? We need to immerse ourselves in beauty, and spend some time with friends who are as excited about our work as we are.

Community can build us up, whether that community is one friend, or a cohort.

I hope you allow yourself some of that.

I want to be healthy, creative, and in love with this beautiful world, and each day, I do my best to manifest all of these.

And I’m wishing you beauty, support, and vitality.

Be well.

– Thorn

#writing #health #OregonCoast #creativity #U2

Stoking the Fires of Creativity in Times of Doom: Life in Empire

“Daily new reminders of the forces we have been pushing against in the march toward positive change. It feels so fragile. Baby steps so hard.”

– Tananarive Due

Baby steps are hard. But they are deeply important to take.

A friend asked recently if I was feeling extra anxiety lately. My reply?

“I’m feeling more determined.”

That determination is what drives me to the gym. It drives me to study. It drives me to write. It drives me to pray. It drives me to speak out. It drives me to show up.

I have determined that building culture is important.

I am determined that these greedy, short sighted, violent, bigoted fools shall not win.

Right after the 2016 election results rolled in, many artists wrote about how to get through these times.

Well, we need to keep figuring that out, don’t we?

And the truth is? People always have.

People figured out how to create during the worst years of the AIDS crisis when queer artists, agitators, and friends were sacrificed on the altar of indifference and fear and a whole generation of queer mentors was decimated.

People figured out how to create when the CIA flooded US city streets with cocaine traded for arms to crush communities in Nicaragua.

People figured out how to create when the wealthy few worked their family members half to death.

People figured out how to create as their cities burned.

People figured out how to create when their communities were bombed.

Some people have always figured out how to create in brutally worse conditions than many of us can imagine.

To create in the face of such opposition is, in itself, a victory.

I don’t care if your work is “any good.”

I don’t care if your work feels “important.”

What I care is that everyone who wants to create right now finds a way to say “fuck you” to oppression, depression, despair, illness, poverty, death threats, harassment, betrayal, silence, oblivion, and anything else stacked up against them.

And I know that’s hard.

And I know I’m speaking from relative privilege right now.

And I know we can’t all feel determined every single day.

We need each other. We need one other person to tag team or relay with. We need one other person who cares.

And we need to listen to that person: whether we share the same physical space, or they are part of a network two continents away.

Please, I beg of you: take a breath right now. Drop your attention deep into your body. Exhale. Then dig deep and find whatever determination rests within you. Breathe into your determination. Increase its power.

Then, ask what will support that determination.

Is it listening to or making music?

Is it reading or writing?

Is it dancing?

Is it digging your fingers into soil?

Is it deep conversations with friends?

Is it laughter?

Is it making sure you eat?

Is it doing your laundry?

Is it going for a walk?

Is it letting yourself feel angry, sorrowful, alienated, or afraid?

Is it choosing to put time on your calendar to create?

Times of Doom always cycle. For millennia, they have risen and fallen like the tides. They are always felt more acutely by oppressed and marginalized people.

If oppressed people stopped creating, even in the face of death, we would all be lesser for it.We would be missing whole swathes of creative culture.

I don’t blame you for wanting to give up.

I just hope and pray you don’t.

We are in a time of Doom.

We are also in a time of Possibility.

Please. Find your will. Hold fast. Or let go.

Even one single match gives off light before it burns out. And that match has the power to light a lamp or start a fire.

Stoke the fires of your creativity. Light up your corner of the world.

In gratitude and honor – Thorn

#creativity #resistance

Invoking Magic

Welcome to my new website.

As I transition from a person who teaches and writes about magical and spiritual practice into a person who writes magic infused fiction, I’ve thought a lot about the fact that my work hasn’t really changed.

I still seek wonder.

I still seek justice.

I still want to invoke a sense of magic in this world.

Because magic is everywhere, if we pay attention. Every bud in spring is magical. Every realization we have, each bit of dawning knowledge, is magical. The fact that we can relate to one another, and that we try hard to do this better is an act of magic.

Every word written. Every note played. Every garden planted. Every child raised.

All of these are filled with magic.

And that’s the life I want to lead: a life that experiences magic in the world. Because to do otherwise would be to fall into apathy, or cynicism, or hatred, or despair.

So my fiction is filled with magic. Is it real?

You tell me.

#magic #writing