We take a class together. As we were walking out, he stopped me in order to complain. A litany. All the annoyances and things that other people just don't understand. My personality didn’t much like this – the initial impulse was to hop on my bike. Then the teacher in me flashed on all the things I could say that might help dig him out of the pattern of misery. I chose to say nothing. It wasn’t my place.
I stood. Got a little more quiet inside. All of a sudden, I saw that he hurt. The complaining was a way to say:
“I feel pain. I have these fears. And some dreams. I’m not sure what to do about them.”
Despite his complaining, despite his fears, this person is showing up for this class. Something in him has a desire he’s trying to figure out and follow.
So many of us carry pain and fear. To keep trying despite these?
I honor that.
And it makes me wonder:
How often do we honor our own efforts? How often do we honor the efforts made in our communities, by committees or individuals?
Are we quick to run away, or to tear down, or offer a fix?
Do we allow ourselves the space and time to pause? To listen? To notice? To be?
What I’ve found is that when we drop beneath the initial impulses – and particularly drop beneath the clamoring of opinion thrown out by various personality parts – a fresh way of relating opens.
All of a sudden we notice so much more about the world, ourselves, and one another. In those times and spaces, so much more is possible than the smallest part of ego thought could be. We are brought closer to right action, existing in a relationship that is resonant with the situation at hand.
This week, what feels like your challenge? What will help you drop a level deeper toward silence, and notice something new?
What brings you from rejection and closer to a state of love?
How do you mirror community?
Where do you stand with your own fears, pain, or dreams?